Let us be honest with you—it is not that hard to lose your deposit. Leave the place with cockroaches running all over the place and a three-month-old pizza in the oven, and your landlord might not be the most pleased person around.
Throw a bucket of red paint on the floor and use a hatchet on the fridge, and you can be pretty sure he will be quite annoyed.
How to Lose Your Deposit in Style
It is easy to destroy stuff. However, you can try to upgrade the property and lose your deposit with style.
Here are some quick tips on how to achieve this peculiar task:
1. Tear Down the Walls and Rearrange the Rooms
Don’t start simple! Begin with the complete rearrangement of the rooms in your rented home. Put on a Pink Floyd record (you know which one) and tear down the wall between your bedroom and the fridge.
Turn your living room into a vast, spacious playground. Make enough room in your bathroom for a four-person jacuzzi and a waterproof Playstation 4. Or even make your private man cave that can be accessed only by crawling.
2. Sell the Furniture and Prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse
Who needs a sofa when you can have beanie bags? Sell your landlord’s old, unimaginative furniture and furnish the flat yourself.
Meanwhile, you can also prepare for the zombie apocalypse. Head out for Salvation Army and Oxfam. You can find some pretty neat stuff there—an old sofa, Fallout-style, for £20, an Andrew Ryan-style desk for £100 and a hayfork for £2.
Prepare for the inevitable zombie apocalypse! Stack up on Hog Lumps and polish your vinyl collection. Remember—a quick blow to the head should do the job!
3. Paint the House in Military Camouflage
While you prepare for the zombie apocalypse, you can also spend some time painting the house in a military camouflage green to show your neighbours you mean business. Your colour scheme may vary if you leave somewhere else.
If you are in the Scottish Highlands, opt for lush green and black to blend with the meadows and rocks. If you are in London, ensure your house blends well with the surrounding housing estates. A nice, desaturated grey should do the job.
4. Create a Burning Men-Styled Scarecrow and Set it on Fire
If there is a cultural phenomenon we need to borrow from the US ASAP, it is the Burning Men festival. Why not organise your DIY version? Invite all your friends to the first (and probably last) Burning Men party on British soil!
Build a wooden scarecrow in your backyard to be set on fire at the end of the party. Crank up some rave tunes like it’s 1995, and invite the elderly couple next door to join you. Stack up on fireworks and Guinness as well—it is never a bad idea to combine pyrotechnics with alcohol.
5. End up in Jail/Hospital
Aw, man, that Roman Candle exploded in your arm? Your neighbours called the fire brigade because you accidentally set fire to their fence? Your landlord gave you an eviction order, and you cannot rent a property in the next ten years?
Your friends are worried about your life choices and call your last actions a worrisome failure. I call them a huge success—congratulations, you will not see your deposit again!
6. Turn Your Bathroom into a Mini-Aquarium
Dive into the deep end of deposit loss by transforming your bathroom into a mesmerising underwater oasis. Picture it: a large, custom-built fish tank with vibrant coral, exotic fish, and a shipwreck replica.
You can wave to Nemo while brushing your teeth! When the lease ends, you’ll have the challenge of safely relocating your aquatic friends, not to mention the water damage that’s practically guaranteed.
7. Indoor Skate Park
Trade in your conventional living room for an extreme sports paradise. Rip out those boring hardwood floors and replace them with a sprawling indoor skate park. Invite your friends over for gravity-defying tricks, kickflips, and ollies.
Your landlord won’t just be displeased; they might be speechless when they see the skateboarding damage assessment. However, that may be what someone’s looking for in a rental property.
8. Confetti Cannon Every Hour
Embrace the perpetual party lifestyle by installing confetti cannons in every room. Program them to burst into a dazzling display of colourful paper confetti every hour on the dot.
The cleanup effort will feel like a never-ending parade cleanup crew, and your deposit will flutter away like confetti in the wind.
9. Inflate a Bouncy Castle in Every Room
Ordinary flooring is passé. Inflate massive bouncy castles in every room of your rental. Your entire living space will be one giant bounce house from the bedroom to the kitchen.
Double-check that your lease agreement doesn’t specifically prohibit inflatable structures, and prepare for the epic deflation operation when it’s time to move out.
10. Host a Zoo Without Cages
Why settle for a pet goldfish when you can have zebras in your kitchen, penguins splashing around in your bathtub, and a friendly grizzly bear sharing your living room?
Welcome a diverse menagerie of exotic animals into your home, transforming it into a Noah’s Ark. Your landlord will undoubtedly be impressed by your commitment to wildlife preservation (and equally horrified by the potential property damage).
11. Ceiling Fan Chandelier
Elevate your interior design game to new heights by replacing mundane light fixtures with oversized ceiling fans that double as dazzling chandeliers.
Add glittering crystals and sparkling embellishments for an extra touch of luxury. While your guests may be in awe, your landlord will likely be in shock at the audacious home improvement project you undertook.
12. Liquid Nitrogen Kitchen
Channel your inner mad scientist by turning your kitchen into a cutting-edge laboratory with liquid nitrogen experiments galore. Freeze everything from your morning cereal to your evening toothpaste.
Just make sure to casually mention to your landlord that your kitchen now moonlights as a state-of-the-art cryogenic research facility when moving out.
13. Wall-to-Wall Ball Pit
Say goodbye to boring walls and hello to endless fun and chaos. Replace all walls in your rental with a sprawling ball pit that stretches from floor to ceiling.
Dive into a sea of colourful plastic balls anytime you desire. But be prepared for the monumental challenge of ball pit removal when your lease expires.
Remember, while these ideas are all about humour, they’re not recommended if you genuinely want to secure your security deposit. Always respect your rental agreement and the property you’re living in!
BONUS ROUND: How to Keep Your Deposit With Style
Let’s say you don’t want to lose but to keep your deposit with style. There are plenty of things you could do to secure your money back. Some of them include:
Channel Your Inner Marie Kondo
Transform into a decluttering guru before your move-out inspection. Channel your inner Marie Kondo and declutter your living space like a pro.
Organise your belongings, fold your clothes neatly, and maintain impeccable order throughout your stay. Your landlord will be astounded by your tidy ways, making them more inclined to return your deposit.
Hire Professional Move-Out Cleaning
Opt for the VIP treatment and hire professional move-out cleaning services. Let the experts work their magic, ensuring every nook and cranny is spotless. You’ll leave your rental in better condition than you found, impressing your landlord and increasing your chances of a full deposit refund.
Create a Farewell Masterpiece
Bid farewell to your rental in style by leaving behind a farewell masterpiece.
Consider painting a mural or crafting a piece of artwork that encapsulates your time in the space. Your landlord may appreciate the personal touch, which could soften their heart when it’s time to assess the property’s condition.
Throw a Film Marathon Party
Host a farewell party with a twist—a film marathon featuring your favourite movies. Invite a few close friends for a cosy movie night indoors with popcorn, snacks, and comfy seating. This low-impact gathering ensures your home stays in good shape while creating fond memories.
Upgrade Your Security Measures
Impress your landlord with your commitment to safety. Install high-quality locks and security systems and maintain them throughout your tenancy. Show that you value the property and are dedicated to securing it, which may encourage your landlord to return your deposit without hesitation.
Personalised Welcome Mat
Add a dash of personality to your rental by placing a personalised welcome mat at the entrance. A custom message or a quirky design can bring charm to the property and leave a positive impression on your landlord.
Create a “Thank You” Book
Craft a “thank you” book filled with heartfelt notes and memories from your time in the rental. Invite neighbours and friends to contribute their positive experiences as well. This gesture of gratitude can touch your landlord’s heart and make them more willing to refund your deposit.
Leave a Plant Legacy
Introduce a bit of greenery into your rental and nurture a small indoor garden. As you prepare to move, gift your landlord the flourishing plants you’ve cared for during your stay. It’s a living reminder of your time there and a symbol of your responsibility.
Remember, keeping your deposit with style is all about demonstrating respect for the property and maintaining it in excellent condition. These ideas showcase your commitment to being a responsible tenant while adding a touch of personality to your departure.
