No matter how much you love your grandkids, and no matter how much they love you back, it can be tough to understand them. And when it’s tough to understand them, it’s tough to form strong bonds.
There is, after all, a huge cultural gap between Baby Boomers and the Silent Generation on one side, and Millennialsand Zoomers on the other. Baby Boomers and the Silent Generation grew up with stick-shift cars and cable television. Millennials and Zoomers grew up with skateboards and mobile phones.
Not only that, but cultural mores are not the same as they once were, not at all. Fifty years ago, for instance, it was customary to refer to your friends’ parents as Mr. or Mrs. so and so. Now, however, doing that would seem awkwardly formal.
Cultural mores inevitably change over time, of course. But the rapid technological advancements that have characterized the 20th and 21st centuries have expedited these changes at a speed never seen before. The Silent Generation and Baby Boomers have seen their worlds change faster and more profoundly than any generation that preceded them. Millennials and Zoomers will see their worlds change at an even faster rate.
In a world that’s so rapidly changing, it can feel downright impossible for grandparents to understand their grandkids. However, although there will always be a cultural gap, there are three things grandparents can do to bridge it.
#1 Listen
It may sound obvious, but listening to your grandkids is perhaps the best way to understand them and how they see the world.
Listening well means more than hearing. It means listening actively. To practice active listening, do what therapists do:
- Refrain from interrupting
- Don’t plan what to say while your grandchild is still talking
- Make eye contact
- Pay attention to non-verbal cues (body language)
- Suspend judgement
Then, when your grandchild has finished speaking:
- Paraphrase and summarize what they have said
- Ask questions that show you have been listening
#2 Teach Them Valuable Skills
If you’re lucky, then you learned important skills from your grandparents when you were young. Now that you’re a grandparent, you have the chance to pay the favour forward.
Certain skills last a lifetime, and if you teach these skills to your grandchildren, they’ll be forever thankful. If you like to cook, teach them the basics. Best case scenario: your grandchildren come to love cooking, and you can teach them how to cook whenever you spend time with them, whether you live on your own or in an active living community. Soon enough, they’ll be cooking meals for you!
#3 Do What They Love to Do
There’s nothing quite like bonding with your grandkid to get to know them, and what better way to bond than by doing what they love to do? If your grandkid has a favourite pastime or hobby, try doing it with them. You don’t have to be good at it. It’s not a competition. What matters is that you try.
Say your grandkid loves playing basketball. You don’t need to be Michael Jordan to play with them. Even if you can’t so much as dribble the ball, you can stillpass your grandkid the ball whenever they make a shot.
Playing together like this is a fun and natural way to spend time with each other, and the more time you spend together, the better you’ll understand each other, and the stronger your bond will become.
